all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
