Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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