3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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