so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So much Jack, so little girl.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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