she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
