Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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