I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
