Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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