Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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