Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
