we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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