I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
