You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
