if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
