oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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