How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
