weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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