He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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