Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
How does one acquire holy water?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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