would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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