Can Purell be used as lube?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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