I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize