why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
