guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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