Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
