i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize