thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
