Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
