I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
