have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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