I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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