He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize