You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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