i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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