I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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