Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
