ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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