I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She bit a glass in half.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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