you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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