This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
