This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
