I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
