Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This show inspires me to have sex in space
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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