Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
