is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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