im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
