Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
