my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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