Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
