someone owes me an orgasm
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
