Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
