I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
