I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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