oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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