It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
