Kiss
Puke
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We got so high we made milksteak
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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