and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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