I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
