He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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