When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
