The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Randomize
