That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
