i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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