So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
