last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
