There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
