Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
