just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
