I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
