Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
