I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
