I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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