I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
