i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
