Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
